Why (blog)

Would the Cleavers Live in Brattleboro?

To say that my parents are a little right-leaning is like saying that the ocean is a little damp. Don't get me wrong, I have no problem with their views as long as those views remain in their chosen home of Virginia and don't come up to Brattleboro like a pair of Jackbooted thugs, kicking in the door and demanding papers... and... (breathe, breathe, serenity now...)

Just joking. Honestly (if you knew my mother and could imagine her wearing Jackboots, you'd chuckle). But the point remains that I am (by a long shot) the most left-leaning of my family. That isn't to say that I'm a true liberal, per se, just a liberal by comparison. Both of my brothers went to military academies (VMI and West Point) and even my very sweet sister thought Bush did a pretty fair job.

The irony is that, when my parents came up to visit last year during the Strolling of the Heifers, they had been a little hesitant about coming into a town full of tree-huggers/granola-eaters/hippies/(fill in your label here). The day of the parade, we trundled downtown and stood on the sidewalk to watch the parade; the cows, the floats, the strange dancers, Alfred in a dress, and all.

The look on my father's face totally threw me, there was no stern disapproval or nervous smirking, but a look of true delight.

"Are you having fun, Pop?" I asked.

He smiled and said, "It's like main street America in the 1950's."

And it is (in some ways). There is a pervasive sense of decency that seems to inform the way people treat each other here that I think would be refreshing to anyone who has been living in what has become the "New American Traditional" lifestyle - box stores, subdivisions, strip malls, and lonely American flags flying over doublewide trailers-cum-churches.

What a surprise it was to my parents that their black (at least gray) sheep son had found a home that they recognized; not from their vision of hippie, free-love abandon, but from their own childhoods.

What a surprise it was for me to see my own feelings for this little town reflected in their eyes.

Add comment (0)

"Wa" Brattleboro?

"So, why (you may rightly ask), why is Brattleboro such a great place?" Well, I have my reasons and, all joking aside (temporarily), I really don't think it's for everyone. The winters are definitely long and white, the people definitely lean left (to a large extent), I can't vouch for its night life, and (honestly) it's easy to feel like an outsider when you first arrive.

This last point is an important one. After having lived abroad for 5 years, there was bound to be a transition for us coming back to the states - no matter where we were going to settle. Almost immediately, however, we found that, although the last census numbers put the population at around 12,000, you'd never know it. If you've heard of 6 degrees of separation, in the Boro, it's closer to 2.

This is great if you're looking for a community rather than a group of individual housing units (which we were). Don't get me wrong, it isn't Mayberry; people often keep to themselves and I've not run into a tremendous amount of rumor-milling. It is, however, a place where you know someone who knows someone you know.

I love that part of Brattleboro. I don't feel like I always see the same people but I don't feel like I'm surrounded by strangers either. In Japan, many gaijin (foreigners) have commented on the amazing fact that so many people live in such close quarters so peacefully (outside of that little hiccup in the 40's). This is due, to some extent, to the concept of "Wa," or harmony, in Japanese culture. Although it has something of a dark side ("the nail that sticks up gets hammered down"), this sense of "Wa," mixed with the very real internal controller of shame or losing face, motivates individuals to follow rules and treat others with respect.

Maybe there is a parallel to be drawn here. It isn't that the inhabitants of Brattleboro and it's surrounding communities are packed like sardines (we are one of the least densely populated states), but that same sense of community and "Wa" seem to push an unspoken agenda of respect for others. Taking the metaphor one step further, that element of shame is not a very far-fetched concept either as someone you know, who knows someone you know, will know what happened.

On the other hand, could be totally wrong. Feel free to tell me so in the comments below.

Add comment (1)